Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Queen of the Galaxy

After visiting with those friendly Martians yesterday, I've developed some galactic wanderlust of my own. What lies beyond the stars? Do lifeforms reside there? If so, do they know about Halloween? I have a feeling the universe needs a few good Halloween missionaries, and I can think of no one better to lead us on this journey than the sexiest interplanetary traveler in the galaxy, Barbarella. 

Barbarella came to life in an early 60s comic strip, but she was brought to icon status by Jane Fonda in the 1968 film adaptation. If you haven't seen this film, you really owe it to yourself to do so. It's sexy, campy, silly, and furnished with some of the trashiest retro-future set pieces you'll ever see. As Gilbert Gottfried once said when he was hosting the film on USA Up All Night: "Good thing the garage sale wasn't rained out or we wouldn't have a movie!"

Sure the plot doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and Barbarella doesn't really do much except have sex and get rescued (often combining the two activities). But still, this movie is all about the journey, not the destination. Witness killer dolls devouring Barbarella's leggings! A space ship wallpapered from floor to ceiling in brown shag carpet! Jane Fonda nude! (Or not? Hard to tell...) But Barbarella DEFINITELY breaks the evil doctor's orgasm machine from enjoying its function too much.

This year marks fifty years since Barbarella was released, but you know what? She hasn't aged a bit. Must be all those sessions in the Excessive Machine. Here is the opening song and super-sexy credit sequence, feature zero-gravity disrobing with strategically-placed letters.

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