The Maddest Story Ever Told!

Arrow dvd art.

Just one great horror theme isn't nearly enough for one weekend, so today's song comes from a movie that is about as far away as you can get from Suspiria in style and tone, yet no less entertaining. Spider Baby is not only an excellent film, but lucky for us, it has a demented theme song to match its demented subject matter. And when I say demented, I mean Lon Chaney, Jr. singing about cannibalism demented!

Spider Baby is a criminally under-seen black comedy from 1967, directed by Jack Hill (Coffy, Foxy Brown--he discovered Pam Grier!). It stars such horror luminaries as Lon Chaney, Jr., Sid Haig, and Carol Ohmart (maybe best remembered as Annabelle Loren in House on Haunted Hill). The plot centers around a chauffer (Chaney) who cares for the remaining three children of a formerly wealthy family, whose members have become the victims of a genetic disease that makes them degenerate into deformed, cannibalistic psychos. Fun family!

Now the spider gets to give the bug a big sting.
Sting! Sting! Sting! Sting! Sting!

Imagine if Tennessee Williams had written Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and you might have something close to the funny, yet sad, yet horrifying tone of Spider Baby. Although there are clear nods to its horror movie predecessors (several Psycho homages, and the Wolf Man shout outs due to Lon Chaney's presence make my heart pitter patter), but it's really unlike any other film I've seen. Maybe that's why it was a dud at the box office and is a beloved cult treasure today. Currently 100% on Rotten Tomatoes!

Several artists have paid homage to Spider Baby over the years, such as White Zombie recording a song called "Spiderbaby (Yeah-Yeah-Yeah)" on 1992's La Sexorcisto: Devil Music Vol. 1. Then, in the early 2000s, Enrique Acosta wrote a musical version of the movie, which contintues to be performed periodically (free download of the musical's soundtrack on its website!). One of the most impressive homages, however, is the cover of the Spider Baby theme that metal super group Fantomas did for their album of (mostly horror) film theme covers, The Director's Cut. 

Their version doesn't top the original (how could it? Lon Chaney! Singing! About cannibalism!), but it does do it some serious justice. Mike Patton gets the unhinged-in-a-fun-way spirit of the lyrics just right, while the band steers the careening melody toward its dynamite conclusion. Check it out below, as well as the unsurpassed original. And if you haven't seen Spider Baby yet, no excuses! It's currently free in its entirety on YouTube.

Here Lon Chaney, Jr. sets the table for Spider Baby's wacky cannibal feast:

Fantomas offers up delectable seconds: